If you've been asking yourself this for more than a few weeks, the not-knowing has become the arrangement. Ambiguity is comfortable for whoever wants less, and expensive for whoever wants more. You already know which one you are.
Asking does not ruin it. If a single honest question ends it, it was already over and you were the only one still paying for it.
You don't need to ask what you are. Ask what he wants. It's a much harder question to dodge.
“i'm having a really good time with this. where's your head at with it?”
“so what are we telling people, out of interest”
“i want something that's going somewhere. is that what you want too?”
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Was It Casual is for reflection, not therapy or professional advice.