Hot-and-cold is almost always someone with an avoidant pattern doing exactly what that pattern does: getting close, feeling the closeness as pressure, retreating to recover, and then genuinely missing you and coming back. The warmth is real. The retreat is also real. Both are about him.
It is not a game he's running on you, and it's not something you caused by texting too much. You cannot behave your way into someone's consistency.
Watch whether the cold phase gets shorter over time. Shrinking retreats are someone learning. Identical retreats forever are just the shape of the thing.
“i notice this runs hot and cold, and i do better with steady. how do you feel about that?”
“checking in from the cold snap ❄️ everything ok?”
“i can't keep recalibrating to whichever version of you shows up. i need consistency.”
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Was It Casual is for reflection, not therapy or professional advice.